FRUSTRATION
Stressed Beyond words Scream Yell Shout Cry Nothing
works Pull your hair out In pure frustration Go insane Lose your mind Can't stop Can't calm down Can't
make it go away Vent Go off Can't help yourself Strike out To hurt those you love Don't want to Hate
to But have to Can't stop Can't control yourself Say and do things You dont mean Inflict as much hurt
and pain As you can Wish to die To escape This frustration This insanity
CONFUSION
Pain
Beyond comprehension Hurt Beyond any words Can not think Can't form a coherent sentence Or though
Try to work it out Try to get past this But are unable to Try to forget To move on But can not Wonder
why This pain is inflicted Day after day Year after year Never understand Why Try as hard As you
can Yet it makes no sense No words can describe The utter frustration Confusion This causes Just wish
and dream Of a day When these feelings Are no longer When these emotions Don't run rampede But hold
onto no hope That this day will ever come
****CONFUSION**** Confusion fills my head Torments my soul Can't figure
out how I feel What is wrong A feeling of helplessness overwhelmes me Of pure and utter despair Hopelessness,pain,anger,fill
my head Grief beyond words Anguish washes over me,throughout me Torture myself with self hatred Self reprimends,self
loathing Can not comprehend why I feel this way Can not pull myself out of this pit of despair Wish it all to
end,to give up,give in To the release death offers me To the darkness I am so familiar with See no point in even
trying anymore In fighting these feelings running rampede in my mind In denying what is meant to be In what should
have happened long ago Why even try anymore when nothing goes right When no matter what something always happens To
shatter the illusion of happy ever after Shatter the dreams of happiness and love Why go on when its pointless I
can not change the path destiny has chosen Its a losing battle So why even try anymore (12-06-01)
CLOSE YOUR EYES
close your eyes
images replay in your mind
over and over again
feel the pain, the hurt
see it happen again
feel it all
can't escape,can't wake up
feel the terror
feel the helplessness
each time your eyes close
feels so real
never fades away
sleep becomes the enemy
too afraid to close your eyes
images so scary
so deep, so intense
knowing that you can't get away
no changing, no going back
no escaping
close your eyes
it happens again
never ending pain
never ending nightmares
close your eyes
feel it
experience it
time and time again
so vivid so real
so terrifying
close your eyes
get lost in your memories
lost in the images
lost in the nightmares
TERRIFIED
terrified
consumed with horror
unable to move
unable to breathe
unable to go on
scared
scarred inside
emotions run wild
thoughts curse thru my head
thoughts of fear
thoughts of pure and utter terror
thoughts of pain and sorrow
nightmares that follow where ever you go
whatever you do
the nightmares, the memories
always there
stalking
always to be remembered
never able to let go
to forget to forgive
always there ready to take over
to take possession of body, mind, and soul
never letting go
relentless ruthless
never a break
no time away
never a rest
never a chance to heal
always there always haunting
always ready to pounce
to take over to take control
never a moments peace
never a way to escape
TERROR
terror so strong it consumes me overwhelmes
me frightens me try to fight to escape there is none im helpless cant run cant hide cant get
away terror washes over me takes possession of my body and soul try to block it out try to forget
but i cant escape stuck in reality in what is happening hurting so deeply fighting so hard i
want to get away make him stop but i cant cant get away cant do a thing not a freaking thing to
get away to protect myself once again i let myself get hurt and the terror returns
I see death the way others see life I welcome death The way others welcome
life I embrace death Crave it The way others do with life Thousands of voices Screaming in my mind Teasing
me,taunting me Daring me Millions of thoughts Race through my head So fast,I can not take them all in I
cry with frustration Wanting them to stop Wishing them gone But they are always there Always screaming,always
yelling I stare at death Straight in the eye And beg for it to take me To finally claim me for its own To
end this torment End this pain Stop playing with my mind And bring me the release I crave The release I desire
The release I will soon achieve (02-10-2002)
I wish I knew How life ever got this way So messed
up and confusing So scary so frightening MIss the days When life was so simple When problems were small When
life was simpler When hurt and pain did not reign supreme As I look back,reflecting,pondering I realize how simple
things really were And miss those days of freedom Of happiness,of joy Biggest worry was 'will he ask me out' 'Did
I get an A' 'is my hair perfect,do my clothes match' Then as the years pass by And grow from childhood to youth
Then to adulthood Things change,issues grow Problems become more severe Intense,painful Issues that used
to be so big Are now nothing compared to the struggles Life throws at me Try to get past all the obsticles Try
to get past the anguish in my mind That torments my soul And wish for simpler times Wish to heal
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