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A feeling of loss
Indescribable grief
Washes over me
Consumes me
Cry
so many tears
A sense of loss
Of pain,of anger
Takes over my soul
And I ask myself why
I ask myself how
And I try to come to terms
With the pain and confusion
Grief and loss
Struggle to come to grips
Find an
end to the tears
Question all around
Look at the world as it continues on
As life goes on
Yet mine stops
Stuck
in a moment
Of grief and misery
Pain and disbelief
Ask why as tears flow freely
As pain overtakes me
Overwhelmes
me
.Voices screaming in my head
Taking control of my mind
Laying claim on my soul
The dark
beckons to me
Calling to me,enticing me
The voices calling so loud
Drowning out all else
All I can see or
hear,feel
Is the darkness
Welcoming me,needing me
Urging me to join it
Offering a safe haven
Peace,freedom
Lost,and scared
Unsure how to fight
This battle for my mind
Unaware of right or wrong
Good or bad
What
way to go
What to do
Feel out of control
At a loss
Alone
Tears roll down my face
As confusion
fills my mind
Torments my soul
Cry as I try to understand
Try to make sense
Of all I feel
All I know
Wish
I had the answers
To the questions plaguing my mind
Eating at my soul
Wish I knew
Wrong from right
Good
from evil
Who to listen to
What path to take
But I do not
So the tears continue to flow
And the pain keeps
eating away at me
WHO AM I
I'm me
No one else
I'm the one
Who gets hurt
Over and
over
Walked all over
The one
People vent on
Take their frustrations out on
Phsyically
I'm the one
Who looks in the mirror
And sees a lost soul
Feels hatred
Towards the woman
Staring back
I'm the one
Who is a no one
Who messes up
Over and over again
I'm the one
Who hurts
Constantly
Who can't close my eyes
For fear of
What it is I'll see
Relive
I'm the one
Who has a chance at love
Real love
But is afraid
Of messing it up
Or losing
it
I'm the one
Who can't forget
Or forgive myself
For past mistakes
Who walks down the street
Looking
away
Afraid
Of what may happen
Afraid
To make eye contact
I'm the one
Who feels so scared
Of the
simplest things
I live in fear
Everyday of my life
I'm the one
Who can't change a thing
I'm the one
Who
can't protect herself
Pain
Beyond comprehenion
Hurt
Beyond words
Can't think
Can't form
a coherent sentence
Or thought
Try to work it out
Try to get past this
But am unable to
Try to forget
To move on
But can not
Wonder why this pain is inflicted
Day after day
Year after year
Never understand
Why
Try as hard
As you can
Yet it makes no sense
No words can describe
The utter frustration
Confusion
This causes
Just wish and dream
Of a day
When these feelings
Are no longer
When these emotions
Don't
run rampede
But hold onto no hope
That that day will ever come
Feel so alone
unloved
alone
like
a candle flickering in the wind
alone in this world
terrified of what is
and what will be
a life of
desolation
a life of hurt and pain
a life of being alone to hurt
not worth love
not worth acceptence
not
worth anything but death
and even death does not want me
Where do I fit in
I don't fit in anywhere
I belong no where
I belong lost,alone and scared
Never feeling as if things will be ok
In this world I live
in
Want to feel accepted
But never will
I am a no one
Wandering from place to place
Seeking,needing to
find a niche
But can not
I do not belong here on earth
I do not belong to death
Where is it I fit in
Why
can I not fit in anywhere
Today I looked at me
Looked at my life
And could not see any point
All I do is hurt
Myself and others
All I do is fail
All I do is cause worry and pain
I am a life not worth
living
To live is a waste
To continue to pretend is wrong
So I accept what must be
For I know it to
be right
I look at all I'm leaving behind
And it hurts
I think of how it could have been
And I cry
But
I can not take it
I can't take the pretending
I can't take the hurt,the pain
Pretending to be someone
Decieving
myself
Day in and day out
Know that the end is near
The end of being alone and unloved
An end to the hurt
and pain
An end to the tears
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